March Gladness

The month of March has went by oddly fast, yet in hindsight, so many things have happened. I think the deadlines for class assignments has definitely contributed to how quickly the days have come and gone. Although each day is hard and has its own unique challenges, I feel that I'm no longer in "survival mode", which is definitely a blessing.

God answered my prayers for a companion and sent me a good friend to accompany me in the Philippines! My roommate from the Fall semester in Los Angeles, Erika, came to join me here at the beginning of the month due to some visa complications for the India site she was originally planning on going to. Although Erika is the youngest one in our cohort, she has a lot of wisdom and maturity that is rare for someone her age. We get along really well and I am so grateful that she will be with me to journey with for the rest of my time in the Philippines. The first two months I was really nervous about being here alone (especially when the previous cohort leaves at the end of July) and was mentally preparing for what life would be like without another teammate to walk alongside me.

Erika and I treating ourselves to a taste of home (in this case, Jamba!)

A few weeks ago I was able to visit my good friend and MATUL classmate, Cailah, in Bangkok, Thailand for several days when I left the country to take a quick breather from the chaos of Manila. It was really refreshing being able to process what has happened in the last couple months and to have some variety in my meals. I did get to meet the big rats that are in the outdoor bathrooms where she lives and also got bit by a lot of mosquitos, but those things aren't all that bad when you get to eat delicious pad see ew from the food carts on the street and laugh about the hard things with a good friend. I was surprised by how hard it was for me to return to Manila though after my time in Bangkok. The first few days back were 10x harder than when I had left, but after a few days, I adjusted back to a pretty normal routine. If you have never been to Bangkok, I must say that the street food is really delicious and inexpensive.

Taking the boat to Cailah's language school

One of my favorite things about the Philippines are the kids. Yes, they are really adorable, but I think what really gets me is how they remind me that there is still so much to be joyful for even when things are hard. When I see kids in my community who have very little playing and laughing, I am hit with the reality of how much I have to be grateful for. And as stressful as doing a graduate program in the slums is, it's important to continue seeking joy instead of being bitter about how hard life is or how the world is an awful place because of all the poverty and injustice. It's understandable that I miss things from home (like moderate weather, peace and quiet, and even In N Out) and will never be fully comfortable living in an urban poor community, but I know that I cannot let the things that are difficult for me here consume me.

The building of the church I go to is also a school during the week, and it's pretty neat. I was wondering how my host sisters (and other children in an urban poor community) could afford to go to a private Christian school, but I later found out that the students' tuition and fees are provided for predominantly by churches and sponsors in Australia. One of the pastors at my church and his wife started the school about 20 years ago because they know how powerful education is in breaking cycles of poverty, and that the public school system here isn't very good. Thus, they wanted to start a school that was rooted in Christian principles, as well as a place where the students were cared for well and would receive a quality education. It's cool to see a sponsorship program in my community that's similar to how sponsorship programs for kids are with non-profits like Compassion International and World Vision.

I was able to hang out and help out in a Grade 2 classroom at the school sometime this month and one thing in particular struck me. All of the kids were asked to bring in about 5 pesos (about 10 cents) each day if possible, and this money was collected in a bamboo tube for the children in Payatas, which is an area in Quezon City that is known for being a really impoverished dump site where many people live and scavenge through the garbage for their livelihood. Children who didn't have very much were giving some of what they had for other children who have less than them. It reminds me of the passage where the widow gives two small copper coins at the temple, and although the amount is small, Jesus recognized the magnitude and sacrifice required of the offering.

I got to hang out with these cute kiddos

On a personal note, I was discussing with a classmate about how it's hard to see myself change physically in an undesirable way. I know that God only cares about the heart, for the external is so temporary, but I admit that it's hard not feeling as "pretty" or "attractive" as I do back in the States. I feel differently about myself here when I look at the bags that have developed under my eyes, the swollen mosquito bites that cover my legs, the effects of the pollution on my skin, and the extra weight I've gained from all the fried foods and rice that are served at home. Being sweaty and sticky all the time doesn't really help either.

She told me that it's understandable that I'm frustrated with the external physical changes that result from the living conditions, but it's during the difficult times in our lives such as MATUL when we are being altered and molded like the refiner's fire. When the metal is thrown into the fire, it initially becomes distorted by the heat, but over time the impurities in the metal are removed, and what's left is something really beautiful. She said that we MATULigans are being challenged on so many levels -emotionally, physically, and spiritually- but as we continue to choose following the Lord with our entire being, we are being transformed inside and out.

She also shared this quote from the children's book, The Velveteen Rabbit (about a stuffed toy rabbit who seeks to become real through the love of his owner):

"Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in your joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."