This last month has been really wet as summer is over and rainy season is underway in the Philippines. Although the weather is a bit cooler, I’m not a big fan as the streets flood a bit and you’re bound to get pretty wet even if you have an umbrella because when it rains, it pours! Also, wet shoes and jeans are the worst (okay, there are worse things, but they don’t feel good). This last month was also a period of continued adjustment to the new community and lengthy commute. My host mom had a baby girl the first week of the month so it’s been a really nice addition to the family, but it’s also been a time of transition for them as the family’s routine changes too. The family is so sweet and I've really been enjoying my time with them thus far.
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| With the host family at church |
In an effort to cultivate a heart of gratitude, I started a little routine at the beginning of the month. At the end of every day, I look back and write down one or two things that I'm grateful for. I know it may seem really simple, but especially on the really difficult days, it reminds me that there are always things that I should be thankful for instead of dwelling on the more difficult moments of the day. Sometimes it's as simple as, "the weather was cooler today" or "this morning, the lady collecting money on the jeepney told people to scoot down more since she noticed that I was at the edge of the bench.” I started this because I felt that a part of me was becoming very bitter, which is very uncharacteristically me. I’m unsure if the root of the bitterness is due to the poverty and feeling like the world is an awful place, this second wave of culture shock that I’m experiencing, personal exhaustion, or a combination of all the aforementioned things.
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| I'm also grateful that these imported cinnamon mixed nuts were 75% off. |
In a reading for my language and culture course, I came across this quote and it really spoke to me since it stressed the importance of incarnation and that it's important and good to be in this learner's position.
But isn't it strange that Jesus not only entered society incarnate at the weakest point, as a defenseless child who needed the care of his host community, but he also told his disciples: "Do not go with money; do not go with a second pair of shoes; go in a stance of vulnerability; be dependent on the communities you visit"? Isn't it interesting that for thirty years he doesn't speak out; doesn't reveal himself; he remains quiet, and only after thirty years of listening and learning the culture does he begin to speak. (James Plueddeman; Leading Across Cultures: Effective Ministry and Mission in the Global Church)
Often times I feel like, "Should I be doing more? Do I have anything to tangibly show for the last 6 months?" But then I think about how arrogant it would be for me to assume that I could just go into a new culture and assume that I know how to fix everything and solve everyone's problems. It is definitely humbling to be a student first as I learn how to speak Tagalog and learn about issues from people on a personal level instead of from a textbook. To admit that I don't know better than others and how I need to learn well first before I can act. It’s a constant battle as I ask myself if there’s more that I should be doing to help and serve, but I trust that God is glorified in my being in this season of life.
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| Erika & I at one of the communities we go to for our Community Economics internship |
Four more weeks of summer semester to go! July is going to be super busy, but I’m so, so looking forward to the month-long break in August. I really need the rest.
Thank you for all of your love, support, and prayers. And as always feel free to message/email me if you have anything to say or ask. I can't fit all of my experiences and the things I've learned each month in a blog post, and I want you to be a part of this journey too. ( : I'll try to write a more in depth post next month (half way done/a year into MATUL!) since I'll have more time during the semester break.
