Midway

**Firstly, I skipped a blog update for July because I was feeling pretty overwhelmed and didn't know how to express everything that was going on in a few paragraphs. But I'm doing a lot better now and will update you about recent happenings. : )

Sometimes I think that what I'm doing is pretty crazy. Other times I think of how normal it is since so people live in similar (or worse) conditions around the world. So I'm currently finished with the first year of MATUL and am now a second-year student in the program! It's crazy to think about all that has happened within the last year- from panicking about finding housing in Los Angeles for the first semester, deciding to move to the Philippines, and to where I am now. A lot of joys, a lot of tears, and a lot of growth.

With Erika at her host mom's birthday party at the end of July

Here's a few of the things that I've learned in my first year of MATUL:
1. Stop glorifying busyness.
Just because you achieved more things in the course of a day doesn't make you a better person or necessarily make you a better steward of your time. There's a reason why God created the Sabbath and intended for people to rest on a regular basis. It's especially difficult to feel like my usual productive self here since it's hard to get a lot done in the course of a day due to the conditions here (traffic & public transportation, a lot of waiting in lines, the extreme weather). I've learned from my community about the value of spending time with loved ones and just being. I do think it's important to be aware of how we spend our time and to spend it well, but there really needs to be a healthy balance, which may vary depending on the context and season of life we're in.

2. Be kind to yourself.
I don't know if it's the American or the Asian in me that makes me think that it's better to be as hardcore as possible (academics, being thrifty, etc.). MATUL is not about who is the most hardcore or who can live in the roughest conditions possible, but it's about choosing to live simply and in solidarity with our urban poor neighbors & friends out of respect and to learn more about the challenges and struggles of the urban poor. Over the last year, in particular in the Philippines, I've seen how I change under highly stressful conditions and it ain't pretty. It's difficult though to not feel guilty about doing things to rest, such as going to see a movie (since they are considered very luxurious even though it only costs about $4), since they are things our urban poor neighbors never able to do due to financial constraints. I guess this guilt ties in with my privilege (that's a whole different story), but I must remember that I do come from a different background.

3. Be open about your struggles.
I've felt that in recent years I've learned about how beneficial it is to share with others about the things that I am struggling. I think that it's a scary thing to let others know our hardships and struggles because it makes us vulnerable, but I think that's the beauty of community. Being able to be genuine with others about these things and to receive love and support in return has only been helpful in this MATUL journey. There's always so much to process everyday and it helps to be able to talk it out instead of keeping it to myself. *Thank you so much to my friends, family, and SVAC family who have been loving me so well. You're the best.

4. Nothing is more satisfying than Jesus.
As I am continually being pushed to my limits and stretched beyond my comfort zone, I am learning that nothing is more satisfying than being alone with the Lord. Back at home in the States, I'm not always the most diligent when it comes to my devotionals and quiet times, but I find that here, I am so thirsty for Jesus. Erika and I actually came upon a Christian bookstore yesterday and it made me so happy. Similar to my experience in India a couple years ago, there is a deep intimacy with Jesus that develops when I do not have the things that normally make me feel like me; the amenities which make me comfortable, the foods that make me happy, the conveniences that I'm used to.

"Nothing teaches us about the preciousness of the Creator as much as when we learn the emptiness of everything else." -Charles Spurgeon


Here's a few bullet points about the last couple of months...
July:
-At the beginning of the month I was feeling really stressed and was having difficulty emotionally; I was actually unsure if I would be able to get all of my work done by the end of the semester and was considering filing an incomplete. After talking a bit with my program director and he told me that it appeared that I was displaying symptoms of depression, it was then that I knew that I had to be more intentional about taking care of myself. I don't really know what it was, but perhaps it was due to the intensely stressful environment/the new move to a new community/the exhausting daily commutes. I was unmotivated to do things, sad often, and really exhausted. It was no fun.

Turning 23 (by candelight)

-I turned 23 in the middle of July and it was definitely a memorable birthday. The typhoon had caused a brownout so we didn't have any electricity or running water for a few days, so that was kind of not too fun, but it was still wonderful because I got to spend my birthday with some wonderful people.
-My friends, Haley and Marissa, from my UCSB days came by Manila for some InterVarsity Trek business and I got to see them for a bit! It was so nice to catch up with them. I also got to meet this year's InterVarsity Manila Trekkies and share with them about MATUL and what happened between the Trek and now; it was really encouraging to see how excited they were to share about their experiences and how they all felt they had grown a lot over the summer as they sought Jesus in some really difficult places.
-By the grace of God, I finished my 2nd semester in the Philippines and first full year of MATUL in the last week of July. It's times like that when the Lord really demonstrates that He will never forsake me; every time that I think I've reached my breaking point and can't keep pressing on, He proves me wrong. It blows my mind.

August:
-This last month of rest was wonderful, and it's definitely allowed me to recharge in preparation for the Fall Semester which began this week.
-At the beginning of the month I had to say goodbye to three of my beloved classmates from the previous cohort as they had finished their theses and were returning back to the States to debrief, process, and rest. It was really sad to see them go since they were such a great support system and were really great friends to hang out and process with, but they taught me and Erika well and I'm so grateful for all of the wisdom they've shared.
-I was able to stay with my good friend Michelle from UCSB at her apartment in Nagoya, Japan for a week and a half and also visit my good childhood friend Satomi in Tokyo for a couple days. Japan is the exact opposite of the Philippines in so many ways. Both are Asian islands in the Pacific and are only a few hours apart via airplane, but the culture and environments are stark contrasts. I had such a blessed time adventuring with Michelle to places like Hiroshima; I also love that we can do simple things such as puzzles and watching Friends on her laptop and have a blast too.

At Kenting National Park in Taiwan with my parents

-I also had the privilege of hanging out with my parents in Taiwan for about a week and a half. It's so nice to be cared for by parents after the chaotic life that is MATUL. The weather was hot and humid; the food was cheap and delicious; public transportation was efficient; there were a lot of beautiful things that were visited.

Now:
-I'm taking 3 online courses: Community Transformation, Leadership in Urban Movements, Primary Healthcare
-I'm in the process of setting up an internship for my Primary Healthcare course where we will be interning with an organization that provides healthcare for an urban poor population, and our projects will involve providing recommendations for further development of the organization.
-I'm continuing with seminary courses and still taking 1 or 2 Tagalog language classes each week.

Thanks for reading and keeping updated : ) And as always, thank you for your prayers and love, they've made a world of difference.