Februrary: School things, stress, and singleness

February has come and gone oh so quickly. It scares me to think that I only have five more months in the Philippines, as it reminds me of how much schoolwork I still have for this semester and that I need to decide soon what I want to do with my life (or what next step I want to take post MATUL). 

At a Filipino restaurant for a language teacher's birthday at the end of January. No utensils!

This semester for my Education course, I’m interning with a branch of the Alternative Learning System (ALS). The ALS program is only in the Philippines and caters to out of school urban poor youth. Each "school year" lasts 10 months and there is an exam at the end of each year and passing this is similar to the equivalent of getting your GED (high school equivalency) in the States. The classes are three hours each and are five days a week (each day has a different subject), but I’ve mainly been helping out with the English class on Thursdays. I taught a class on pronouns this past week and it went a lot better than I expected : ). The youth are really enjoyable to chat with and they’re a fun bunch to be around. ALS is under the Philippines’ Department of Education, but each branch can be run by different organizations; this branch is run by Banaba House Ministries, a ministry in the community where Erika lives. Banaba House Ministries hopes to encourage the youth in their education as the teachers believe that education is a powerful tool in stopping the cycle of poverty, but they also hope to mentor and disciple the students.

With my host sister Trinity Grace at a neighbor's house

For the Entrepreneurship class, Erika and I are working with Simpleng Bigasan, which is a rice business that is run through a local church. We're just at the beginning of the process of this partnership, but we hope to help them develop a business plan to help the business become more profitable and run more effectively. Mmm Thesis class is a whole different story. I originally wanted to write on something environmentally-related, but my professor said that my ideas were too broad and since it's already so late in the semester I should just move in a different direction and seek a local organization that I could help contribute to. I want my thesis to be this big, wonderful thing, but I also need to remember that this thesis project doesn't determine the rest of my life. I'm currently looking into working with a local faith-based organization that mentors and develops urban poor youth and leaders through educational programs. 

I can share a little bit about singleness, since it’s been a big part of my MATUL journey and I was strongly reminded of it this month because of Valentine’s Day, which is pretty popular here in the Philippines. In short, I have never felt my singleness so strongly. Before MATUL, it never bothered me very much that I was still single and that I had friends who were dating, but I think the loneliness that I experience while in field makes me much more aware of how I don’t have a significant other. During the really difficult times when I crave comfort and solace, I imagine how nice it would be to have a significant other. But I know that in the loneliness I need to seek the Lord, for He is the only one who can give me the peace that I need; having a boyfriend/husband won’t solve all my problems and make my life complete, despite what popular culture seems to insinuate. It’s also very common here in the Philippines for people to ask you if you’re single upon first meeting you. In the States, this question comes off as very forward and intrusive since it’s a personal matter, but I think that the relational nature of Filipino culture makes it seem like a topic of casual conversation.

If you’re still reading, I would really appreciate prayer for anxiety. Every semester is really busy and stressful, but these last couple of weeks Erika and I have been especially anxious about how much work there is to be done, especially as we embark upon the thesis planning and writing process. The stress can be so overwhelming that it’s hard to think straight or get anything done, which is no good. In addition, I would also love prayer for presence. I do my best to spend time with my host family, people in the community, and the youth at my internship when I can, but lately I've found it more difficult to do so when I just want to be alone when I'm overwhelmed (being an introvert is really hard for me here since being around people all the time makes me really tired). 

A lovely quote that I saw in my friend Lindsey's notebook; Lindsey is a MATUL alumna and is still in the PH as a missionary

Thank you for reading and journeying with me. I am grateful for you. : )